大家谈恋爱到底为了什么，为什么我们的爱情如此脆弱

其实靳枣是地一位的。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

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在国外 爱情都是很廉价的 .目的很多

真的是。。。爱一个人永远没有底线。把底线翻出来说事的说白了就是不爱~

而且男人说分手。。不管啥理由。都是借口。归根结底就是不爱了。

阿德莱德谈恋爱。。生活节奏太慢了。。搞得爱情来的快去的也快。

或者说生活太不稳定了。。。 每个人都是认真的开始。。。发现一点不美好之后。。。从来不会静下心来好好谈谈。好好面对。。总觉得。最后都是一个结果。大家差距太大。

有人问我是不是看破了红尘。我说还没有。就是看透了缘分。

趁着这几年再好好享受一下单身生活。好好充实自己。

留这么多言给楼主。。因为前两天翻开我以前写的帖子。发现你曾经跟我讲的很多话都很有道理。。。哈哈。。突然发现。。2年之后。我能够体会的这么深刻。

爱情是一个很深的命题，从古至今也是一个永恒的话题。有人就有男女之间的问题，婚这个字据说是原始人把女原始人敲晕之后拖走。。。。社会学家说，爱情和婚姻，一直围绕着三个基本元素，子女，资产，爱情。心理学家说，人生来就是孤独的，所以找个人携手走过一生，一起面对生命中的起伏。宗教说，是因为上帝从男人身上的肋骨创造了女人，来使男人完整。生物学上讲，是为了繁衍，是每个物种的本能。唯物主义在精神上的体验肯定要比唯心要简单和单纯。唯心在精神上的体验要更丰富和复杂。婚姻和爱情的本质是什么，每个人都有不同的答案，寻找的动因不同，得到的结果也不同。世间万物，生命，宇宙的答案是42，或许一切其实都没有意义，或许我们其实连问的问题的意义和本质也都不知道。

刚甩了一个 觉得在一起不是因为爱情  只是为了生活  我擦  完全接受不了  我姐妹儿跟我解释说  男人和女人本来就不是一个星球上的。。。。。

大家谈恋爱到底为了什为?

The motive for 谈恋爱 vs. the reason to 谈恋爱 with a particular person

If you are in another culture or at other time of the human history, it is very like there is no such thing as 谈恋爱, but arranged marriage or other ritual to facilitate the reproduction of progeny. However, in our society today, it is almost always compulsory for heterosexual couple to live together, engage and then get married, with the aim of forming a monogamous family with children. The social norm dictates aspects of our lives. So logical deductive reason for many people (including me) to 谈恋爱 is:

谈恋爱 is a process before forming a family.
I will ultimately form a family.
Therefore, I must 谈恋爱.

When the motive for 谈恋爱 is because of having a family, it looks like 恋爱 is handled mechanically because there is a logical reason. But this is just a big misunderstanding. People mix up "the motive for 谈恋爱" and "the reason for 谈恋爱 with a particular person".

Having a family is a motive for 谈恋爱. In contrast, reasons like "the boy/girl shares a lot of interests with me", "he/she is cute", "he/she is a nice person" are the reasons for wanting to 谈恋爱 with that particular person, but not the motive to start 谈恋爱.

The accumulation of qualities that we call love

The reasons that makes you want to 谈恋爱 with that particular person is what makes "love". But there is no such thing as love; love is not a single thing but rather an accumulation of qualities that makes a person attractive to you. The qualities that makes a personal attractive are usually their personality, behaviour and habits, background and interests, physical fitness and attractiveness, wealth and social status, etc.

The digger and the predator

While normal people seeking "true love" puts more emphasis on qualities in personality, behaviour and habits, background and interests, gold diggers and sexual predators takes advantage of people who seek qualities in personality, behaviour and habits, background and interests and feed their victim with "false love", faking qualities in personality, behaviour and habits, background and interests in order to gain wealth, social status and/or sexual gratification, greed and lust.

Summery

谈恋爱 is almost unavoidable if you want to have a family because it is the social accepted model for courtship. The reasons for wanting to 谈恋爱 with a particular person is due to "love", an accumulation of qualities that makes you love them. While people with long a term motive such as having a family prefer qualities that will not change. Gold diggers and sexual predators put emphasis on social status/wealth and/or physically attractiveness. False love is nothing more than greed and lust. It is the root of fragile "love" not capable of withstanding the trial of time like permanent quality such as personality, behaviour and habits, background and interests.

And I just wrote an essay. I am weird, lol.

Pyree 发表于 2013-4-14 19:51
大家谈恋爱到底为了什为?

The motive for 谈恋爱 vs. the reason to 谈恋爱 with a particular person

楼上的太有才。 论文拜读了。