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标题: 为什么送出国的孩子年龄越来越小,为什么中国的父母那么绝望? [打印本页]
作者: 卡宴 时间: 23-3-2015 04:47
标题: 为什么送出国的孩子年龄越来越小,为什么中国的父母那么绝望?
我小时候哪知道什么是起跑线,不知哪个孙子说了句,“千万别输在起跑线上”,大家就都紧张了。结果起跑线越来越提前,从第一份工作提前到大学,又提前到高中初中小学,又提前到幼儿园、胎教,提前到拼爹,这么下去,得提前到北京猿人。
不是开玩笑,现在的教育问题归根结底和“不要输在起跑线上”有关。以前出国都是工作之后出,后来是国外读研究生,再后来国外读大学,现在是初中高中成群结队地往国外送,生怕送晚了。
前几天,我采访北京一个公立高中的“国际部”,真把我撼到了,每个学生都说将来要出国,美国、英国、澳大利亚……每个孩子都那么笃定。
我清楚记得,那天下午阳光特别好,站我面前的都是少年少女,他们认定美国一切都好!我突然感到阳光暗淡,这批人将来是国家福音还是掘墓人,能指望这批孩子出去后还会想着身后的家国?!
我算笔账,这个高中国际部,一年学费15万,按他招生规模,年收6000万人民币,还是供不应求!和这帮孩子在一起,我真真切切感受到,教育是没有硝烟的战争。
每次听谁谁小孩儿又出去了,我就特别悲凉:他们就这么放弃了国家?而我也在准备,女儿五岁,十年后就是他们中一员,我现在所做的一切,都是为十年后积累。
我的心理魔障
为什么要把孩子送出去?也因为我心理有魔障。我对自己非常失望,我从小没有自我,我对我们的文化,尤其是政治文化失望,几千年来,不懂得对个体价值的尊重。
我这代人认命,但孩子不能认。孩子对我类似宗教,是唯一超越现实、指向未来的可能。我最希望孩子建立快乐健康的人格,有一个明亮温暖的心理底色。
所以女儿襁褓时,我会夜半流泪:她清澈的眼神,怎么面对世界的复杂和污浊?所以我不停奋斗,要给孩子争我这辈子没有的东西,让她接受最好的教育,让她从小就知道个体是什么,自由是什么,平等是什么,做一个真诚快乐不说谎的人。
我们这批父母,是中国5000年来最尊重孩子、在孩子面前最谦卑、最主动约束自己权利的一代人。我们认为自己和孩子在人格上平等,哪怕他是婴儿,也要慎用权利。
有人说我完全没有自我,其实我以前也有理想,但被岁月雨打风吹去,现在是能放弃就放弃,能妥协就妥协,能和理想沾边的,是让孩子实现理想。
不出国行吗?
送孩子出去受教育,因为很多问题解决不了。比如,多少年前就说要进行素质教育,但什么是素质?什么是素质教育?没有谁可以清楚地告诉我,我也不想让女儿当爱因斯坦,但我知道爱因斯坦不仅物理好数学好,小提琴也不错,所以,我让她练琴,而且周围都在练琴。
周围人不仅练琴还学英语呢,四五岁的孩子,母语还学不好干吗学英语?但市场逼着你。孩子说了,“妈妈,小朋友都在学英语,我也去!”我不能跟她说,“按妈妈的价值判断,是不该去的,你应该有一个幸福快乐的童年……”
所谓“自然缺失症”,就是孩子们看不到大自然了,他们生活在水泥森林里,但有什么办法?我们都要讨生活,哪有时间带她去自然,而且哪有不奢侈的自然?
于是她去了,既然学就停不下来,你还要考虑让她养成一个习惯,就是要学会坚持,不能遇到点问题做就停下来……于是,一个又一个家庭,一个又一个孩子,把教育推到这个萧杀的氛围。一定意义上,父母是现有教育的“帮凶”。
其实我作为“帮凶”,从幼儿园就开始了。我女儿当年前连幼儿园都上不了,那年奥运宝宝猪宝宝叠加,满大街都是找不到幼儿园的宝宝,《人民日报》都连发文章批评入托难。临到8 月份我还没找到幼儿园,托人找关系,能托的都托了。
苍天有眼,上了一家有名的公立幼儿园。但到那就绝望了,这什么幼儿园啊,早晚得换!那里的老师太传统了,他们教孩子玩“战争游戏”,让孩子分成两组,玩相互射击,嘴里还要发出“pia !pia !”的声音。孩子一回家,就拿手对着我比画,嘴里“pia!pia!”的嘟囔,还问我,“妈,你怎么还不死啊!”一问,幼儿园学的。
这还不是全部,他们从小班升中班要考试,分成普通班和蒙班。四岁啊,干吗把孩子分成三六九等?让一部分孩子从小就觉得自己是甩货?!我女儿没考上蒙班,眼泪围着眼圈,我一咬牙咱换地儿。
我不知道中国有多少家长,被“教育”气得半死。我经常很纳闷,为什么我们这些家长,都知道该怎么尊重孩子的尊严、自由,而最懂教育的老师们,却生活在古代?可以说,教育的主要矛盾,是家长们日益增长的教育知识,和学校落后的教育理念之间的矛盾。这不是幼儿园的问题,是小学初中高中大学的问题……不出国行吗?
我不恨老师
前几天孩子又问我,“妈妈,为什么要有教师节啊?”我想半天说,“因为教师永远都在帮孩子,大家都非常感谢他们,于是所有人认为该给老师弄一个节日”“,那为什么要给老师送礼啊…妈妈,小朋友都送,我也送!”我一下被问住了,“宝贝儿,没事!咱也送!”
别人给我的茶叶,我就送过去。能不送吗?不能,因为老师一个眼神就可以把她“杀死”,在孩子面前,老师是法官是命运主宰是天,他们杀死一个孩子的尊严和信心太容易了。
肯定有人想骂街,但我不恨老师,从根本上说,我们社会的人力资源价格是扭曲的,一个幼儿园老师,市场价格是多少?没人知道,但都知道中国老师的收入,比起国外同行差多了。
这个工资体系,不仅老师,医生法官都有问题,既然阳光下的货币不能弥补,那就得靠灰色货币了。所以,将心比心就没法责怪老师,当你骂老师王八蛋的时候,想想自己有没有干过王八蛋的事?
既然这个规则不是我可以改变,就只有玩好规则:送礼绝不送脑白金,要对每个礼物用尽心思,除了考虑礼物的商品价值,还要考虑怎么才能打动老师。
妥协妥协妥协!苟且苟且苟且!于是大家一起支撑起一个你不满意的现状,还要让孩子不被牺牲掉……累不累?这也是我拼命把孩子送出国的理由,哪怕自己从身到心都已残破,也要加油!等将来和我女儿一起去没人认识的地方净化吧。
接下来,马上孩子要读小学了,我已经准备一笔钱,但往哪里砸、砸给谁还不知道,所以我从去年就开始有组织有预谋地结交新朋友,尤其是教育口的朋友。这又是个复杂的利益体系,还要赚钱再赚钱!说句实话,只要有孩子,中国就不需要维稳,因为家长都在低头赚钱,谁希望国家乱啊!
我还是有盼头的,等她小学毕业,有了生活能力,也许我就可以解脱了,因为可以送她出去了……
(来源网络)
作者: runzigougou 时间: 23-3-2015 08:15
觉得还行
作者: angelangelangel 时间: 23-3-2015 16:03
挺实在的, 但在国外, 中国的学生还是受很严重的歧视和欺负。
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